You know how they say that women have childbirth amnesia? Otherwise we'd never (voluntarily) have more than one child? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have IVF amnesia. Somehow I had convinced myself that while it was mentally taxing it wasn't that bad physically.
Oops.
It's all starting to come back to me. Today (cycle day 11), I just do not feel comfortable in my own skin. I am exhausted and a little crampy, and I'd much rather be wearing my comfy pajama pants than the pantyhose and a dress I chose to wear to work today. I feel lethargic and I know that my temper is just a little short today too.
I want to smile and be cheerful and energetic, but I just can't seem to convince my body that it should follow suit.
Emotionally, I am exhausted as well. I'm having a bit of an adrenaline let down from all of the marching band activities if the past weekend. I'm also frustrated with the fact that I really can't plan at all for Grandma Misichko's funeral services since we don't know when retrieval will be. If it is Friday, then we can fly out early Saturday morning and come back Sunday night. If it is Saturday, we could all potentially fly out and back on Friday after my pre-op, or even find out if I can do pre-op blood work out there and fly out late Thursday. Or maybe Jonathan will fly out after retrieval, but my mom will need to fly in to care for me and Nate since I will have a lifting restriction. If it's Sunday, we can go there and back on Saturday, or, if I can do pre-op blood work out there, we can go out Friday and come back Saturday. TOO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. I feel like we haven't even grieved properly because we are so concerned with logistics.
So, in short, I'm feeling rough today, but it is bound to get better, right?
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