Crazies

I had a blood draw this morning and started my estrogen today. This is to get my ovaries all ready to go so we can start stimming soon!!! We're officially underway!

I mentioned to Jonathan today that I hope I don't get the "crazies" this time. I remember feeling like the estrogen kind of messed me up a little last time emotionally.

Now I wonder, was it the drug, or was it the experience?

Doing IVF when you have empty arms is very different than doing it with a sweet child already at home. The stakes are high, but the time for dwelling on the experience just doesn't exist.

The time I spent posting on infertility forums before is now spent playing on the floor with Nate.

Last time it was the end of the school year; the work load was light and time was abundant. Now, I'm in the thick of marching season, and I barely have a moment to myself. Very little time to think, very little time to dwell. In fact, it still hasn't really hit me that this is happening. Maybe when I actually have the retrieval it will start to feel real.

So, we're the "crazies" last time caused by the over abundance of time I had to "deal" with IVF, or does the estrogen legitimately make me a loon?

I guess I'll let you know in a week or so!